Called out of darkness a spiritual confession anne rice pdf

Rice writes how "words fail" to be able to describe all she was experiencing and beginning to comprehend and she come back to the key component of love being the way to follow God, and reminds us again that this is not easy, nor comfortable. It was not an escape into consolation or a "collapsing into happiness". She points out how wrong people are who think that converting to Christianity is "a falling into simplicity; a falling from intellect into an emotional refuge; an attempt to feel good".

I agree with her, when you discover, come to or are pulled into your belief in Christ, true belief that you cannot deny and sometimes you want to you are not in for an easy road. I love that she makes a point to say she always chose to sit in the front pew as I do with my kids when I can not for the sake of being seen or feeling important - but for the want of no distractions, nothing separating oneself from the ritual and worship and preparing to receive Christ.

And I love how she notates two passages of the Nicene Creed to be enough to contemplate for the rest of her life. I find myself thinking about that during the Eucharistic Prayer, especially the words "like the dewfall"- wrap your mind around that one and you will find yourself in the dual worlds of Christianity and Buddhism combined for quite some time.

And then she really got into the meat of it all at this point we are 20 pages from the end the real question of what we are being called to - the commitment Christ is requiring - the call to more than we bargained for - to live for him.

Rice expresses fear at this realization that up until then she was seeking for herself in all this - now she realizes she is being sought by God as well. She talks about fear at this point - and it can be fear. I feel that fear often. It is the call to 'death of self' and to service of others. Are we really ready for that? I know I am not though sometimes I feel like I am getting closer and then the other shoe drops and she realizes the most difficult requirement of all in following Christ.

Loving others. Really loving them. Loving enemies, loving those who have been unkind to you, loving the convicted murder, praying for and doing for others when it is inconvenient, uncomfortable, distracting, time-consuming, etc. Being kind, no unkindnesses, no rudeness, no ridicule, no gossip, no judgment we all know we are all judging all the time. This is where Rice sees her greatest failings and her greatest calling. In all, I appreciated she did not domesticate Jesus making him fit more comfortably and 'nicely' into life.

I appreciate how she studied and holds her own views on scripture and I truly appreciated how she esteemed the Gospel of Matthew as the gospel that holds the key to it all I was just discussing this exact point with a friend today over lunch! She talks about the power of realizing that God became a child AMONG us, the amazing choice that Mary and Joseph made to be the Holy Family just as we all have choices how so much of what she learned helped her to realize the Christ was the fulfillment of much more than Jewish prophecies and that scripture became mysterious, inexhaustible and powerful - the living word - for her through all this 'work' on her part, and the grace she had been given by God.

She recognizes the courage to follow Jesus - "I am convinced that it takes immense courage to remain in a church where one is surrounded by hostile voices I do not agree with this sentiment, I think we must be cognizant of the failings we can work to overcome, to lessen or to work around until they can be rectified. This hope to ignore them is most assuredly her weak point that has led to her stepping away from the beautiful and ancient Catholic Church that was so clearly her faith home, for that I feel sorry for her.

I also suspect her relocation away from her comfortable faith family also put pressure on her to fall away. I do wonder if the call of mammon, the overwhelming popularity of all things vampire, her son's interest in writing with her and her California location a very young parish contributed to her loss of the pillars of strength she had found before. I hope, for her sake, and for the call she recognized to write for God, that she will find her way back to her faith when she is ready.

As a final note, I very much realize my need to keep reading books like these, they remind me of my own calling, they demonstrate how people like "me" find or don't lose sight of God in our overwhelmingly secular world. Thank you Anne Rice! Dec 22, Cristine Braddy rated it really liked it. I love hearing others stories and journeys. I found her voice is to be incredibly powerful. Feb 18, Sherrey rated it it was amazing Shelves: faith , memoir. Our library has the most charming annex, The Pond House, where used books and an assortment of other used library materials are sold at ridiculously low prices.

After visiting the annual book sale, I suggested we drop in to see what was on hand at The Pond House. Rice's story chronicles her life in and out of the Catholic church from her c Our library has the most charming annex, The Pond House, where used books and an assortment of other used library materials are sold at ridiculously low prices.

Rice's story chronicles her life in and out of the Catholic church from her childhood in New Orleans to the writing of her memoir in The beauty of the church building where her family attended Mass and the words she heard in the liturgy fascinated Rice as a young girl. So fascinated she, Anne Rice at age 12, announced to her parish priest her wish to be a priest.

Not only did Fr. Steffen attempt to make short work of his explanation to her by stating only boys could become priests, he told Anne that there had been a time when theologians were not sure if women had souls.

Anne never forgot his words, even though she thought later he may have mumbled to himself. Fleeting thoughts toyed with becoming a nun, but this too quickly dissipated as something Rice felt unsuited to explore.

Fast forward to the s and college and yes, the Vietnam War and the hippie generation. Anne finds herself confronted by many mindsets: some opposed to religion, some starting up new belief systems in or out of the church, drug use, diametrically opposed political views on everything, and the war in Vietnam rages.

All in all, a confusing time. During this time, Anne meets, falls in love with and marries her husband, Stan. And together, they begin a home and later a family. As a result of the antithesis of her childhood faith and life as a young adult, Anne moves away from the church and God. She declares herself an atheist. Her descriptions of her feelings during this time are highly emotional, fraught with darkness, a strong belief in the rightness of it, and yet an unidentified longing that persists.

Through several years of writing her graphic Gothic novels, she is highly successful but not completely happy. It is during one of her darkest times that she comes to the realization that she might not have agreed with the church, but she never stopped loving God and wanting Him in her life. Here begins her call out of the darkness and on a new and reviving journey. Rice has told the story that many of us living through the s and s could probably share. However, hers is rich in Catholic tradition and steeped in the history of New Orleans, a city strongly populated with Catholics.

A tale of growing disenchanted seems not so unexpected. The turning and transformation in her life is unexpected as she commits to giving up the genre of writing that has made her so successful. I will leave my review here for if you have not read Anne Rice's memoir, I do not want to spoil its richness by giving away too much.

It is a book I shall read again and perhaps again with as much interest and joy as my first read brought. Apr 19, Patty rated it really liked it. Anne Rice recalls the sights and sounds of the Catholicism of her youth with such vivid images that I was singing "Tan tum ergo, sacramentum Warning: If you aren't a 50 something Catholic, or recovering Catholic you might not "get it".

I completed the book in a weekend and was fascinated by how Anne Rice describes her inner landscape and how her conversion experience has changed everything for her. She makes a strong case for the power of art and music and truth.

She surrend Anne Rice recalls the sights and sounds of the Catholicism of her youth with such vivid images that I was singing "Tan tum ergo, sacramentum She surrenders to beauty and love, and finds herself loving a perfect God and an imperfect church. With the wash of memories unleashed by this book, I recalled a "May crowning ceremony" where at age 7 and wearing my white communion dress, I was happily the third "Hail Mary" in the human rosary.

The prayers concluded as one very lucky 8th grade girl was selected to place a crown of flowers on the statue of the "Queen of Heaven". How I longed to play that special role! But alas, Vatican II happened sometime between my second and eighth grade year, and much pageantry ended. Anne's memoir prompts a longing for all manner of Santos and torches and song.

Feb 09, Annie rated it liked it. Putting aside the rather creepy cover, this was a moderately interesting book about Anne Rice, the queen of vampires, and her spiritual journey. Although I'm very happy that Anne Rice has found her peace and is significantly happier having returned to the Catholic faith of her youth, I can't say it has improved her fiction.

The few recent books I've read of hers have just been lifeless compared to the emotional extremes of her vampire heyday. Nonetheless, Anne Rice is still what I shall call a "g Putting aside the rather creepy cover, this was a moderately interesting book about Anne Rice, the queen of vampires, and her spiritual journey.

Nonetheless, Anne Rice is still what I shall call a "good Catholic"--not dogmatic, not holier-than-thou, quite earnest and flexible. Some interesting quotes: I came out of childhood with no sense of gender, no sense of being handicapped by being a woman, because I had no sense of myself as a woman.

I soon caught on in adolescence that there were tremendous liabilities to being a girl. I can definitely see echoes of this sentiment in her writing.

On whether she is a "prodigal daughter" in returning to Catholicism: I feel no guilt for anything I ever wrote. The sincerity of my writing removes them completely from what I hold to be sin. I also feel no real contrition for my years as an atheist, because my departure from the church was not only painful, but also completely sincere. Sin, for me, resides in those acts of cruelty, both spectacular and small, both deliberate and careless, but always involving the hurt, the real hurt, of another human being.

I myself am haunted by destructive things that were said to me when I was a child and over the course of my adult life. I can think of some things said to me when I was ten years old and feel exquisite pain remembering how humiliated or hurt I felt. What that means to me, however, is not only that I must forgive each and every instance, but that I must admit that my own words and actions may still be hurting people who can remember them from numberless instances over sixty-six years.

All that failure to love. Dec 21, Ann rated it it was amazing Shelves: christian-books. I finished this wonderful memoir by Anne Rice on our trip home from Christmas in Virginia with our son and his new wife. This book touched me so deeply Anne Rice grew up in New Orleans in a family with deep roots in orthodox Christian Catholic traditions.

I loved how she tells how her first understanding of God came from the auditory liturgies and the richly visual iconic rituals of the Roman Catholic Church In fact she struggled for years to mast I finished this wonderful memoir by Anne Rice on our trip home from Christmas in Virginia with our son and his new wife. In fact she struggled for years to master the skill of reading She drifted away from her Catholic roots and her child-like faith in God after her mother died, her father remarried, and they moved away from the secure confines of the decidedly Catholic culture of New Orleans She turned a corner and determined that there was no God, taking the position of an atheist for the next 38 years.

Her descriptions of how God continued to "show up" in her life's journey and draw her back to Himself was so wonderful. She tells of how she determined to dedicate her skills as a writer completely to Christ and was drawn to write a "story" of the life of Christ In the fall of her book, Christ the Lord: Out of Egypt was published.

It was while researching the New Testament canon and reading and re-reading the Gospels in preparation for writing a "probable fictional world" for this book that she says, "My reading skills improved beyond all expectations; I sought days of study without interruption, and finally long nights in which to complete the book She calls herself a "Christmas Christian" because of her love and gratitude for, and wonder at the whole amazing mystery of "God become flesh".

While some of her conclusions at the end of the book raised some questions in my mind, I was thoroughly challenged by this book and found the story of her journey so refreshingly honest. Sep 24, Karen L. I would have given this a 5 star, had it a better ending. She had to include her personal agenda at the end, which was a bit more progressive than I expected from a Roman Catholic.

Anyhow, the beginning and middle of the book were fabulous. She told it in a wonderful writers voice full of vivid description. I loved hearing about her childhood and her adult conversion experience of her return to Christ and her Catholic faith. I thought it good that she has read Roman Catholic writers, as well as I would have given this a 5 star, had it a better ending. Throughout the book she talked of this feeling of being genderless and having been raised somewhat that way.

She seems to still be plagued by this. Perhaps as she matures in her relation ship with Christ she will feel more comfortable with how God has both genders and has created us, male and female.

It is a mystery of God. Jan 30, Jennifer rated it did not like it. I couldn't bare to finish this book I am only finishing this book out of principle. I've never read Anne Rice's novels because they are my style but I have heard from so many she's fantastic.

I was really interested in getting into her head but once I started reading this overbearing book it turned me sour to her writing style! You are so inundates with details you loose site of what she's trying to have her readers see.

I ca I couldn't bare to finish this book I can't believe that a writer as seasoned and well-respected wrote such a biography. Maybe I am being to harsh but I find it such a frustrating read. I've skipped over so many pages and still find myself in the same place.

The book just doesn't seem to move on. I will finish the book and hopefully by the end I can walk away from the experience a little less jaded. Sorry Ms. For now, just stick to what you know; vampires. Let someone else tell your story. Sure this lady can write, but sheesh, she can also drone.

I had to take a break from this book because I was so dulled by it. She evaded a lot, and talked mostly about her childhood, and not anything that I was particularly interested. I learned a great deal about her love of architecture and her inability to read, but I didn't learn much else. It all felt very surface level and nothing was deep or probing. She'd plunge into something interesting--like her mother--and then she'd back off be Meh.

She'd plunge into something interesting--like her mother--and then she'd back off before she got anywhere. However, she'd talk for about 15 pages about a statue she found. The book needed an editor to give her story shape.

It all felt very disjointed. Mar 20, Kathleen rated it it was amazing. Reviewed this with a fresh eye. I was grumpy the first time. I had just returned to the RCC and was disappointed that Rice had returned, too, only to leave again. I understand that now. Apr 23, Holly rated it did not like it. Couldn't even finish this book. Seemed very scattered. Feb 11, Jim B rated it it was amazing Shelves: memoir , christian. In the first part of this book, I found a kindred spirit.

I've known about Anne Rice's return to the Christian faith orthodox Catholicism , and really found her two novels about Christ to be compelling see my reviews. I have rarely encountered someone whose childhood faith was so like mine except that I attended a Lutheran church. Like her, I always felt as a child that Jesus was more real than just a real person who lived in history -- I knew Jesus was really with me, that He loves me with In the first part of this book, I found a kindred spirit.

Like her, I always felt as a child that Jesus was more real than just a real person who lived in history -- I knew Jesus was really with me, that He loves me with a love that is grace and colors my life with beauty. Church worship and the church building intrigued and enriched me.

All of this, Anne Rice describes in vivid detail, and recaptured for me in her memoir even her contrast with the flatness of "Dick and Jane" compared to the richness of the words I heard and learned at church. Her childhood was pre-Vatican II, so Roman Catholics of a certain generation will relate to the way she experienced and loved the Latin mass, and many of the other aspects of U. Catholicism of that era. One thing you encounter in Anne Rice's description of the time that she admits is unusual for recollections of the era is that she has only positive memories of the nuns in her life.

The commonly complained about strict, harsh nuns that fill books, plays and conversations were not her experience. She says maybe she was fortunate in that her church and school did not produce what other people report as their experience.

She also had several nuns in her family and they were positive role models for her. Not as women -- Anne Rice's discussion of her feelings about men and women is interesting and I won't disclose her reflections here. They are, however, a good reminder that our childhoods are not cookie-cutter uniform versions of human experience. An unexpected part of her childhood and young adult years was how difficult it was for her to read.

She says that she basically learned by listening. Obviously she listened carefully to everything said in her church as a preschooler! She points out her faith preceded reading. She loves Latin and poetry, but she says that she learned to love them by hearing them spoken. The book has many small bits of poetry that she's learned, cited at appropriate moments.

As someone who from the first was as inspired by books as by my church, it was fascinating to read about someone who even in college could not read much and yet loved learning, poetry and good discussion of ideas. Her atheist years have shaped many of her social views. Many Christians, especially orthodox Catholics, may be appalled at her pronouncements particularly since she clearly identifies herself as an orthodox Catholic.

But she discusses this, and comes away with a particularly humble conclusion: she is a relative infant in the faith, and she is not a doctrinal person -- her passion is writing novels.

So, she concludes, maybe she has it wrong, but she shares what she believes. And at the bottom of it all, no matter what people think of her or say about her, she believes that it is Christ's will for her to respond in love.

Following Jesus means loving neighbors and enemies, and she -- quite rightly -- observes, it is often harder to love family and friends than enemies! The section of the memoir documenting her return to faith testifies to the relentless love of God which would not let her go. The book is The narrator of this book, Kirsten Potter, was a perfect choice. Her voice was unobtrusive, yet fresh, clear, and expressive. If you read the hardcover or ebook and didn't enjoy it, give the audiobook Books on Tape a try.

This edition includes an interview with Anne Rice that was also enjoyable and illuminating. In the interview she impulsively says that in a way she was a fake atheist. I imagine that statement could be taken out of context and misused.

Her memoir makes clear the extent of her atheism for nearly 40 years. But what sets her apart from the more commonly encountered form of atheism was that she grieved the loss of her faith. Her vampire books were intentionally bleak because they were her exploration of a world without God not a godless world, but a world where something was missing and tragic. Like Augustine my allusion, not hers would say, her heart was restless until it found its rest in God.

By saying she was a "fake" atheist, she was admitting that her atheism never really was reconciled to the loss of her faith. Two years after she wrote this book, she announced that she is no longer a Christian. From what I've read, however, she maintains that she hasn't given up on Christ, just the church. Since people evolve, I'm not sure where she is spiritually today as I write this review. For me personally, she had put her finger on something not only with focus on Christ, but also with what she wrote about love.

My own family can't meet my expectations, yet I love them and strive to love them. The same for me is true of my church family. I think of how Jesus must think not only of their quirks and evils, but also of mine. I hold to the thought that just as Jesus worshiped with believers of His day, and loves people in every age, calling the church His bride despite its deep flaws, so I too have my quirks and my evil and humbly must strive to love and fellowship with the bride of Christ.

Just this morning I said to a friend, "When Luther was young, he pictured God as an angry judge. I think of the Lord as rolling his eyes in frustration at me! Anne Rice wrote in this book about the horrible things a minority of people have said and written to her, and she was remarkably mature in recognizing that wicked little group of people seems to crop up in every setting even, to her grief, among people who enjoy her books.

That wicked little group of people Internet trolls, for example cannot prevent me from believing in our form of government, or freedom of speech or the simple pleasure of a comedy. Why should I let them stand for Christianity, and turn my back on what has always been for me a spiritual family, with all the obligations, rewards and pains that the word family can be? I think this would be an excellent book for a book club to discuss!

View 2 comments. Oct 20, Elbia Lembach rated it did not like it. Oh My Goth! This book should be called Bored of Darkness. Not at all what I expected. I tired to listen to the audiobook but after one hour of my life, that I will never get back, I gave up. Nov 15, Bill rated it really liked it. I can imagine many fans of the novels of Anne Rice were surprised that her first memoir, Called Out of Darkness: A Spiritual Confession, is not about her life as a writer; rather, it is about her life as a Catholic and the role of faith in her life.

Rice beautifully describes her life as a child being enveloped in Catholicismthe masses, the sacraments, her experiences as a student in Catholic school, the religious holidays Nativity scenes set up at churches in New Orleans at the beginning of I can imagine many fans of the novels of Anne Rice were surprised that her first memoir, Called Out of Darkness: A Spiritual Confession, is not about her life as a writer; rather, it is about her life as a Catholic and the role of faith in her life.

Rice beautifully describes her life as a child being enveloped in Catholicismthe masses, the sacraments, her experiences as a student in Catholic school, the religious holidays Nativity scenes set up at churches in New Orleans at the beginning of November, and the Stations of the Cross during Lent --which, being a Catholic my own darn self, I strongly related to.

She was also a child with a strong sense of family and what family meant to her. One revelation that was quite surprising to me was that she was not a big reader as a child; she was more of a listener--to stories and poem told to her by the mother she loved, and the celebrations of Mass in Latin.

Upon entering college in , at the age of 19, several factors in Rice's life including her gender and the turbulent era in which she lived at the time led her to renounce the Catholicism of her childhood and proclaim herself an atheist.

The reasons she chooses this radical shift from devout faith in a supreme being to no faith in a supreme being had many complicated factors. But Anne finished college, married poet Stan Rice, had two children one tragically died at the age of five , and became a bestselling novelist specializing in vampires and erotica.

Rice remained an atheist for 38 years until she felt she was called back to Catholicism. After slipping into a diabetic coma in , Rice slowly but surely regained her faith. She now devotes her writing to God and has since published a series of religious books based on the early life of Jesus Christ.

I admit I am not a huge fan of overtly religious literature, fiction or nonfiction, but Rice's memoir really pulled me in. Her journey full circle from Catholic to atheist to Catholic was very intriguing. However, being a fan of Rice's fiction, particularly The Vampire Chronicles, I was a little disappointed that her memoir gave little insight into her life as a writer, the inspiration of her characters, and her success as a novelist.

But remember this was not her intentions with this book. It is not the autobiography of an author; it's the autobiography of a devout Catholic who happens to be an author. Also, her passion for her new found religion is quite admirable. However, some may view her devotion as overzealous, and even the hugest Anne Rice devotees will be turned off by the book simply for this aspect, which is a shame because it is well-written and fascinating to read, regardless of one's religious persuasion if any.

Her prose in her memoir is just as vivid and beautiful as her gothic fiction which she does not renounce, by the way, regardless of her rediscovered faith. Anne Rice makes it know that she stands by her life, her choices, and her work--and this is admirable in itself.

Faith is a personal thing, it's a private thing and, as with Anne Rice's life, it can change your outlook on everything for the better Nov 09, Alison rated it liked it Shelves: library , audio-book.

This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here. Rice's Catholic upbringing, I felt the book jumped around quite a bit and it was hard to follow.

But as a practicing Catholic who has experienced her own conversion back to the faith, the thing I found the most interesting was that this book read more like someone who was describing not a Cath I recently read The Vampire Chronicles and both of Ms Rice's "Christ the Lord" books so I decided to give this audio book a listen, too. But as a practicing Catholic who has experienced her own conversion back to the faith, the thing I found the most interesting was that this book read more like someone who was describing not a Catholic faith, but some kind of Protestant faith.

And given what i know of Ms. Rice's very public announcement that she was leaving the Catholic Church again just a few short years after this book was published, I'm not surprised. Throughout the book, the author claimed to be happy to have returned to the Church but at the same time, she continuously criticized the Church for not conforming to secular society on matters such as the ordination of women, acceptance of gay marriage, abortion and artificial birth control, etc.

She claimed to have done much research, yet not once does she state any point of view other than her own for why the Church teaches as she does.

Additionally, the author never goes into any kind of detail concerning either the Church teachings or her own beliefs, other than the social issues already mentioned, so one is left wondering exactly why it is she chose to come back to the Catholic Church - what was it that drew her back? It would seem that what Ms. Rice was really looking for was a church - any church - that would teach the same philosophy she espoused, whether that teaching was indeed the Truth or not.

I also thought it was interesting that she also maned primarily non-Catholic writers as sources for her research. Throughout the book, Ms Rice states, in her opinion, the central teaching of Jesus is to love one another, including your enemy, even though she never quite describes what that love might be in concrete terms. She also makes several disparaging remarks about Christians who "judge" others based on their behavior. What the author doesn't seem to understand is that Scripture tells us that the most loving thing we can do sometimes, is to correct the sinful behavior of others, so that they can repent and turn toward the Lord and thus enter into His Kingdom.

In fact, she never mentions at all the Catholic teaching that our main focus here on earth is to get ourselves to Heaven, and second to that is to get our spouses, children and finally others to Heaven as well. I found it odd, for a newly reverted Catholic, that the author never expresses any regret that her husband died an atheist. As I stated before, I did enjoy the parts of the book where the author described the New Orleans in which she grew up and especially the descriptions of her involvement in the Church as a child and it was for that reason I gave this book 3 stars.

But I wouldn't recommend this book to anyone who is interested in learning more about the Church or for Catholics who are weak in their faith.

Mar 12, Leah rated it really liked it Shelves: nonfiction , spirituality. Wow, Anne Rice, who would have thought. This book is a spiritual memoir of Anne's journey. She is a devout Catholic who is so intensely focused on the traditions in the Catholic church. I found the book quite illuminating because it gives insight into how Catholics view other Christians and why they believe so fervently in Mary and focus on all the icons so heavily. The story was interesting and honest. I can't wait to read her vampire books since she describes how all the characters represent h Wow, Anne Rice, who would have thought.

I can't wait to read her vampire books since she describes how all the characters represent her struggle with faith, her descent into personal darkness, and the way she was able to work herself out of it and come back to the beliefs she had when she was young. Just recently last year, Rice came out with the statement: For those who care, and I understand if you don't: Today I quit being a Christian.

I'm out. I remain committed to Christ as always but not to being "Christian" or to being part of Christianity. It's simply impossible for me to "belong" to this quarrelsome, hostile, disputatious, and deservedly infamous group.

For ten years, I've tried. I've failed. I'm an outsider. My conscience will allow nothing else. I refuse to be anti-gay. I refuse to be anti-feminist. I refuse to be anti-artificial birth control. I refuse to be anti-Democrat. I refuse to be anti-secular humanism. The clouds quickly closed over the statue; then broke and revealed the statue again.

How many times this happened I don't remember. I do remember a kind of delirium I didn't acknowledge faith in these moments at the foot of the statue.

But something greater than creedal formulation took hold of me, a sense that this Lord of Lords belonged to me in all his beauty and grandeur. The fate of Lestat: "My hero, the Vampire Lestat, the genderless giant who lived in me, was always the voice of my soul in this novel ['s Blackwood Farm ] and it is no accident that he begins it with a cry of the heart, 'I want to be a saint, I want to save the souls of millions! This character who had been my dark search engine for twenty-seven years would never speak in the old framework again.

On her differences with contemporary Christian teaching: "Centuries ago the stars were sacred. A man could be burnt at the stake for declaring that the earth revolved around the sun Now the Christian world holds the stars to be secular Is it not possible for us to do with gender, sexuality and reproduction what was long ago done with the stars?

To realize that A shocking childhood scene recounted only 13 pages before the book's end: "I was with a group of children At one point we crowded to the edge The room must have been over eight feet deep. Perhaps it was deeper. There was a little boy crouching next to me at the edge of the window, and I turned to him, and pushed him so that he fell all the way down to the basement floor.